"Who are you?" "I'm Batman..." RS

Yesterday I went to the barber shop to get my hair cut.  This is not a process that I typically take any joy in at all.  I hate waiting in line.  I hate listening to all of the hip hop gossip that I have little or no interest in.  “When is Lil Way gonna go to jail?”   I don’t care.  “When is so and so gonna drop their new album?”  I don’t care!!  The only thing I do enjoy about its is during football season when I get to talk shit about how my Redskins will crush whoever they are playing.  I do on Saturdays during the season because if I went on Sunday I would simply get made fun of because my team in counterfeit.  But I digress…

I tried to pay as little attention as possible as I sat there listening to Meet the Press on my Ipod.  There are just more important things going on in the world than whether or not the neighbors know Trey Songz name or not.  But just when I think this is just going to be another day at the shop… it happens…

Batman walks up in that mother fucker…  Yes, Batman…  The Caped Crusader…

By that I mean some fool walked in with an actual Utility Belt!!!  Four, maybe five cell phones all in belt holders hanging from this guys belt.  At least two regular pagers clipped to that very same belt.  And old school Time Port 2 Way Pager that dropped out of rap videos back in 2001 (I got rid of mine last summer but to my credit it hasn’t been activated since 2004).  This man also had a Swiss Army Knife or a utility tool of some kinds that I can’t even begin to fully describe and what seemed to be some kind of a nail filing set complete with mirror.  There was so much technology hanging from his waist that he has to have testicular cancer from all of the radio waves by now if he didn’t already have it already.

While all of that was disturbing and made him look rather foolish it was the grappling hook that really took the cake.  This dude actually had a grappling hook hanging from his belt.  Who the hell has a grappling hook hook?  I sold mine back in 2007 and replaced it with pair of suction cups.

I swear this fool all but kicked in the door to the shop like somebody's hero and stood there in the door with his hands on his hips staring all of us down like we where the Joker, the Riddler and Two Face.  He looked like a circus clown standing there with his belt lighting up like Marry Go Round and his knives and self propulsion devices shimmering in the light.

Now, I’m not one to make fun of people as I myself am a complete and total disaster… but who the hell is this guy and why isn’t is possible for him to just give out one phone number?  Maybe I’m seeing this the wrong way.  Can I get some help from the congregation?

RS