1. Do buy a Snuggie
2. While at Thanksgiving dinner it is apparently OK to fake an orgasm.
3. Do take the Snuggie with you into the bathroom while puking. It will be your only friend against cold tile floors and porcelain toilets
4. It's OK for 6-8 of your closets friends to crash a wedding (The White House crashers should take lessons. I'm not invited to about 80% of the events I attend!)
5. Do not wear the Snuggie naked. It's like a hospital gown, your back will always be cold.
6. When you watch enough porn, it becomes as natural as watching an episode of Barney (words of wisdom from a well-meaning cousin, also shared at the thanksgiving dinner table)
7. Do wear the Snuggie backwards like a robe and pretend your a character from Harry Potter. British accents required.
8. The cousin/suitor got a promotion AND has been working out since the last time I saw him. (Definitely missed out on that gravy train)
9. Always reverse the Snuggie when letting guests wear it (only applicable if you wear the Snuggie while naked.)
10. Do not take pictures of yourself wearing a beret and aforementioned Snuggie and then email said pics to a friend. Those images will definitely come back to haunt you.
LB
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