I don't have much of a life. But when asked by strangers about my plans for the weekend. I usually give one of the following answers. It's all lies, but easily decipherable.
See decryption key below.
Headed to the bar = going to the gym
Shopping = Returning items I couldn't afford in the first place
Grabbing a quick bite = binge eating in my car
Squeezing in a quick workout = binge eating my car and purging in the parking lot
Hanging out with some friends = texting old friends to see if they still remember me... if they don't pose as a solicitor for past due bills.
Nothing much = praying for sweet death to finally take me
Hanging out = praying harder for sweet death to take me
At work = Sleeping (I get my best rest there!)
Ex.
Stranger: "So LB, what are your plans for the weekend"
LB: Probably just hang out with some old friends, then squeeze in a quick workout then after that nothing much.
LB
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