The One That Got Away ... LB

A few years ago, my family began pressing me about why I wasn't married, or at least dating. My cousins lovingly referred to as aunt and uncle informed me that they had the PERFECT man for me. Their exact words were "He had a good job, he was a christian man, funny and lived in my area! He was perfect except for one small very inconsequetial thing. He was my cousin as well. Their nephew to be exact, you can work out the specifics of the family tree in your own head.

So on Christmas day as the family got together to celebrate the birth of Christ, (who's mother never bugged him about meeting a good Jewish girl) who shows up at the door but aforementioned "aunt" and "uncle" AND a plus 1. They brought my cousin/suitor to dinner. The entire night was filled with awkwardness, like when you sneeze and let out a fart at the same time in a group of people. My family, usually a raucous group, were eerily silent as I passed my cousin the greens at the dinner table, as if our hands would touch and we'd look into each other's eyes and do each other!  You know, just start pouring ladels of gravy all over our.... anyways...  I did my best to avoid him the rest of the evening and no, there were no fireworks.

But 4 years later I found myself thinking about him. I wonder, is he the one that got away? As my other cousin stated, I was crazy for letting him go. He was eligible for a pension- and that was good money! He also has a heart warming laugh reminiscent of Dr. Hibbert from The Simpsons. But looking past the obvious point that he was a blood relative. What is most important is that I gave up the chance (perhaps my only) to form a committed union. I gave up the chance to keep our blood lines pure, like the English monarchy. And as I get into bed ALONE and COUSIN-LESS, I'll have to live with the pain of knowing I could have had it all.

LB